Savitri on food

Sister Castle and Rakhee have been so generous to us. At the clinic, both have taken us out to McDonald’s and both have brought something to share with us during lunch. Sister Castle made it a point to feed me every day for the last couple weeks even if I had my own food so I brought things for her as well (mainly peanut-butter sandwiches and “dry” bread with avocado). On one of our last days, Rahkee made butter paneer and chicken and despite all the times I’ve said it on this trip I was in heaven. When we visited Sister Castle in her home she greeted us with feasts, truly delicious dishes. Once, she even brought us home during lunch so that we could talk with her daughters and meet her neighbors who were all really friendly and wonderful to talk to. We have been on the receiving end of so much generosity and though I’ve tried to give back in small ways I don’t know how I can ever repay them. Part of me keeps thinking that this is not the last time that I will see them.

These happy moments, unfortunately, are always tinged with a bit of guilt and sadness for people who are not on the receiving end of such generosity, or who have much less to pass around. Although I have so many happy memories in the lunch room with my friends and coworkers I realize that not everyone sees it as a happy environment. For one, not everyone has enough money to bring food with them to work each day and so they would rather spend their time elsewhere than look at other people enjoying their meals. For another, sometimes all that people can have are tea and bread. I know of one generous soul who brings a loaf of bread each day to share with friends who can’t afford to bring in food themselves. These tough realities make me appreciate my meals so much, but feel very guilty as well at the disproportionality of them to others’.

Now I know what happens when you try to feed everyone. When I went to watch the talent show in Nyanga that Avery and some other folks organized I stayed behind to help out. They had brought enough food to feed all the children who participated in the show but we soon found that we were running out and children were still complaining of not being fed. What we ultimately learned was that the children had told their friends that free food was being passed at the community center and so all sorts of kids from the neighborhood were showing up and it became impossible to tell which ones had been fed already and which hadn’t. These kinds of situations make you frustrated that you did not bring enough or did not do enough, but I think that what my peers did was honorable because they did feed these children and helped them foster their creative skills and form friendships with them. They did not get to feed every child, but that kind of goal was impossible given the resources that we had.

We keep talking in class about realism and idealism and the virtues and vices of both. Ultimately, I think both are necessary in order to understand a situation and fully address it in a constructive way. I understand some of the reality of food inequality and the fact that so many people survive on hunger. But when it comes to bringing solutions to the table I feel more and more cynical, unable to think outside of the box. I do not know how to address these issues in a “sustainable” way or unearth deep-seated problems of food inequality. I want to continue looking and listening to what other people have to say, but for now these realities are very grim.