JR reflecting on all he has learned and who he has become

I should start by saying how very lucky I am to have been on this trip.  This past three months have brought me a new way of seeing the world, an endless amount of new memories, and 30 new people I am blessed to call my friends.  After this trip, I will truly never be the same and Cape Town will always hold a special place in my heart because of that.

            

One thing I learned about myself  on this trip is that I don’t give myself enough credit most of the time.  At my final one-on-one with Marita, she mentioned that people say they acquired more confidence over the semester, which I was unsure if that applied to me.  But after some reflection, I think that this is definitely the case.  I have always been my own harshest critic as many people are of themselves, and my sense of humor is one of self-deprecation (I figure if you make fun of yourself the most, who can really make hurt you? Also to a lesser degree, making fun of myself avoids me making fun of and potentially hurting others, I figure I can take it).  But being around such a positive group of people, who really love you for who you are, I think it’s a much better way of handling the problem; kill them with kindness, if you will.  My fellow co-educator Audrey and I were discussing the other day that by the end of the semester, we weren’t worried about our insecurities (for her, her weight; for me my height.  I used to constantly feel the need to literally “size myself up” against other men) because we knew we could come home to 20 people who couldn’t have cared less how we looked.  It was beautiful, and very liberating.

Audrey & JR: beautiful and liberated!

Another great change I’ve noticed that is that I am constantly critically thinking.  I see the world in this totally new perspective, and I have opened my eyes to so many things that I had never noticed before.  This long dormant critical thinking skill now awakened now makes me enjoy things like literature more, being able to delve deeper into works than I could previously.  I feel like a more contributing member to society, constantly wanting to educate myself on all issues, and it excites me that I actively want to do these things now. 

            

This class was an amazing experience for me, one that has certainly changed the way I think and left me with many questions as to my future going forward.  But I have a nervous excitement to this upcoming future, I feel more secure that I will eventually find my calling, and I feel excited to know that my co-educators will be with me at each step.  I feel like a changed person leaving Cape Town, and I really appreciate that.