Avery's new perspectives gained from painful experience

This week has been a bit rough- mainly because it started with me getting a second degree burn on Saturday and has since been a new ‘handicap’ of sorts that I have had to adjust to. I want to be very clear that this is not a ‘handicap’ with the same definition that one may think of when they see someone who is wheelchair bound or hospitalized for long periods of time. In no way is my life forever altered, nor has this burn permanently or emotionally damaged me. I simply wanted to discuss how I am actually finding this much more of a learning experience than I imagined- and not just the lesson not to touch exhaust pipes of motorcycles.

For one, I am appreciating how hard people with disabilities have to work to keep an upbeat attitude about not being able to do certain things.  Thus far I have had to pass up playing in the ocean at Camps Bay, going swimming in the pool at our house, even sacrifice some extra sleep to wake up early enough to ensure I have enough time to maneuver myself in the shower so that my bandages don’t get wet. These are minor sacrifices and they will eventually be resolved, regardless I have complained considerably about the new scenario I find myself in. Meanwhile, there are children I am currently working with at Eros School for Cerebral Palsy who have been and will be wheel chair bound for the rest of their lives. On Tuesday of next week we are taking them on a “Marine Day” field trip where we will bring them all to the beach. I imagine that those in wheel chairs will be allowed to sit in the sand close to the water- but obviously cannot go anywhere near enough to touch it as their wheelchair will sink.  These children have to live with the fact that they cannot do certain things. They are limited by their own bodies- and in some cases restrained by their own spastic muscles.  Yet, they laugh and smile all along. Perhaps they have come to terms with these ideas, perhaps they have never experienced otherwise so it’s hard to miss what you do not have. However it has definitely helped me to realize how very blessed I am to be in a body that is capable of every movement that I demand it do for me. It has also helped me to be more aware of those people with disabilities who despite all odds achieve their life goals. I have newfound admiration for such individuals and it inspires me to make better use of the body I have found myself renting.

In addition to this, I have also for the first time in my life experienced what I would label societal gaze. This gaze, is the unwanted or noticed attention from others passing by who clearly are fixated on an aspect of your being which they do not have or cannot identify with. For me this week that has been the bulky bandage wrapping my leg and the slight limp I have developed to compensate for the pain.  Thus, a label smacked across me as an afflicted individual of some sort of unknown disability. Among the eyes that I made contact with most if not all have shifted from my face to my leg as they passed, and on a few occasions people have made comment- mostly out of concern but none-the-less drawing attention to it. It made me uncomfortable but I, unlike so many others will be taking off these bandages in two to three weeks. What about those who have a chronic disability? What about those who have scars and skin conditions that make them stand out in a crowd? What about people who are a different race living in a society dominated by a single color?  These people cannot take off their conditions, ailments or skin color. They should not ever feel that others are fixated on these aspects of their being as the most important things, above their personality and character. I am sorry that my leg hurts this week- but I think it brought into perspective the reality of the pain that people who cannot ‘heal’ from their condition, disability, or skin color may feel every time they are in public places. I hope that with this in mind I am more careful with how I receive others while walking down the street.  Something I am almost ashamed I have never been mindful of previously…