Brianna singing while growing confidence

Brianna & Wylie

This past Friday, we went to Blue Chip which is a restaurant known for their Jazz music and laid back environment. We all knew that we were in for a karaoke night and I was looking forward to having a good time. Back home, I never really participated in any karaoke activities regardless of how much I love to sing! I always found that I was shy to go up and sing to a crowd, as much as I really wanted to.

But, as I found from being here in South Africa, my fears with singing and doing so in front of larger audiences has almost diminished. I think I found that through practice, I am more comfortable in performing and I don’t think of how other people are going to judge my singing abilities. What this all seems to amount to is that I found confidence in myself.

Singing is something that has remained to be pretty constant in my life up until college. I always loved to sing ever since I was a little girl and my dad use to record me on his video-camera. As I got older I kept singing, I did chorus and would sing with my friends who also enjoyed the hobby.  Trying out for the show, American Idol, was indeed my dream, just like it was for many other young teenagers in the country and I truly believed that I would make it.

The first time I tried out, I was nervous and ended up forgetting the rest of my song about thirty seconds into my audition. Of course, my nerves got the best of me. I wasn’t going to give up though, I decided that I would return back to the auditions again. Time went on and I had prepared another song for my next audition. I picked the song, “Respect” by Aretha Franklin and I entered the arena prepared to sing a song I was so confident in performing. Except this time, I didn’t forget the lyrics, I just simply wasn’t chosen by the producers.

After being denied twice, I sort of just let my dream get away from me. I kind of stopped singing the way that I use to and I even had no desire to watch the show anymore. I let rejection get to me and that’s something that I have learned to never do. I love to sing and even if I didn’t get chosen to be on a talent show, then that didn’t mean I should stop doing something that gave me joy.

I have noticed that here in South Africa, I am almost always in a relatively good mood. Due to this, I sing way more and I sing just about anywhere that I please! This includes in public areas and walking outside. I managed to bring singing back into my life and I am looking forward to doing so when I return back to the states. I have realized that anything we once loved could enter into our lives again, we just have to let it in because it never left, it was just simply forgotten.